My life is pretty great all around. I graduated college. I’m employed. I have a wonderful fiancé who spoils me on a regular basis. I live in a beautiful city and enjoy it regularly. I have great friends close and far that I see when I can. The point is my life is pretty great and even envious to some people.
I don’t feel ungrateful for my life but I have been unhappy for a while. The problem wasn’t external. Sure my job isn’t wonderful and I don’t live in my dream house, but that’s not really a reason to be unhappy. My unhappiness stemmed from within. At the core I was unhappy with myself and honestly no amount of change would make me happy.
Part of my issue was this blog. I found myself coming here to only rehash the same old unhappiness. I stepped back from this place and even considered getting rid of it altogether but at the end of the day I just left it. I figured if I didn’t know what to do with it in six months I’d cancel the whole thing and be done with it.
Somehow I’m still here. You’ll notice that my old entries are gone. I’ve saved them but if I’m really going to change myself I need to move on from all the negativity and ugliness that is in those entries. I need to electronically get rid of the clutter.
Maybe it’s the Spring weather finally showing it’s lovely face or maybe it’s all the wonderful new things I’m starting to learn but I am ready to start a new, with a whole new focus in my life.
I’m focusing on self-love, gratitude, and realizing the happiness in my life. I’m also finally taking my health seriously for the first time.
I only have one of these lives as far as I know I need to start enjoying it now before it’s mostly gone.