In less than two weeks my family will be crammed into my apartment, air mattress taking up my entire living room. Saturday afternoon I’ll dress in cap and gown and go through a commencement ceremony. Pizza will follow, but it will be fancy pizza for a fancy occasion.
At the end of September I will start my final term of school. The last three classes I need to officially graduate, Criminology and Delinquency, Psychopathology, and Psychology of Men and Masculinity. Then I will be done.
I have mixed emotions about the end of this year. The end of the year marks the end of school, for a while at least. It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’ve been in school nearly my whole life and I’ll miss the learning. But there’s also the start of a new chapter in my life. A hunt for a full time job and a reason to leave my old one.
I’ve been in a reflective mood recently. Thinking over mistakes I’ve made, wondering what if I had done things differently. Would any other path lead me to where I am right now? Maybe, maybe not. I’m not a regretful person, there is no reason to wish for other outcomes when you can’t change anything. But still, now that such a big part of my life is almost over I can’t help but wonder what if. But I like where I am now, in life and school.
I’ve been looking at Graduate programs. A Forensic Psychology one caught my eye, but it’s a fantasy. But still, I look and I stick my toe in the water. I have prepped for grad school, not really. But I have a little less than a year to decide and apply if I’m serious. I want to be serious but I don’t love any of the programs enough to be. Not yet anyway. That could change when I don’t have current classes to finish.
This all a bunch of nonsense really. Just thoughts and feelings floating around. Growing up is so convoluted.