I’ve been sitting here for a while, not really sure what I want to say. This month has been…it has been. I had the worst job interview of my life. Forty minutes of being belittled for my “lack of work history” (seven years is not enough?) and the fact that I did not major in accounting. After having several angry words with the recruiter who sent me to that interview I let myself unravel. I felt stupid for having a “petty” job (his words) and majoring in something that didn’t matter. Then I gathered myself up and realized that I should have listened to my gut and said that that job was not one I suited for.
No other job prospects have panned out, although a few have been dangled in my face like treats on a string. I’ve started replying to job listenings and relying less on the temp agency since they continue to disappoint (not even setting me up with interviews, only telling me that they are no longer available). I feel a little down about not already having employment but I know that I will land a job soon, I need to. Mainly because I want to start getting my dental work done. And buy a new bed. But mostly fix my teeth.
I’ve started working out more. Trying new things with kettlebells. Have you seen the girls that work out with them? They are crazy strong and have amazing bodies. That’s my fitness goal. I’ve been doing a swing program for a while now, it’s a progression program that’s done one day a week. Now I’m learning new moves and adding them throughout the week. My fitness goal has always been to lose the weight that I gained when I moved up here (about 25 pounds to go out of 50 so I’m trekking on) but now I don’t want to just “be skinny.” I want to have muscle and be able to do things. Go for a 50 mile bike ride in a day? Sure! Hike 20 miles? Yes! Swing around a 50 lb kettbell with one arm? Heck yes! This is all very new for me as I have never been an active person or really fit. Although maybe if I was I wouldn’t be on this fitness path I’m on now.
I had this goal of losing 10 pounds a month and that hasn’t happened. Since January I’m down 8, which is good but I keep thinking I could have been down 20 by the end of February. Oh well, eating healthy and getting healthy is always a work in progress, always requiring tinkering.
I haven’t been getting out much. Most days the only person I see is Vahid. Part of it is because I have no income so I want to penny pitch and save as much as I can. But a lot of it is because I am not really friends with anyone up here. I have acquaintances but it’s been hard to make friends. A lot of the people I met in college were very juvenile and the ones I met through work drifted apart after we no longer had the store as a mutual connection. Sometimes I’m sad about it but I know it is what it is. People are fickle in that way. It’s hard to create space for new people in already formed social circles. I think I’m only noticing it so much now because of the engagement. I don’t have anyone to really call to do all the fun stuff with like sample cake. (That’s really all I want to do, eat cake and shop for dresses.)
This is where I am. Waiting and planning. Hoping for better weather.
Sometimes words can say so much, but mostly they just say nothing at all. Words are alluringly malleable and can be shaped into wondrously beautiful beings.
I’m hoping I get to go cake sampling at least once in my life…
Dave2´s last [type] ..Bullet Sunday 317
You can always come with me! I will probably go a lot. I just want to try all the cake.
Hang in there!
claire´s last [type] ..The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business
Thanks!
I was unemployed for 9 months before my current job magically presented itself to me. I had tried a temp agency too, but I never had a bite with my resume until I went out on my own and found a place I felt in my heart was right.
I hope that happens for you, you deserve to work some place nice.
Poppy´s last [type] ..whyyyyyyy
Thanks. I hope it happens for me too! I mean I know it will at some point.
You’re working on so much of yourself. I admire that a great deal. And I know a thing or two about moving and not having a circle of friends and it taking a long time to grow roots. It’s hard. Hang in there, and also – fuck them about the job stuff and your experience. A couple of years ago when I moved back, I applied for some type of financial job at a small company. It was a BIG job, and I was flattered that I got an interview. When I walked in, they had me do an Excel test and an accounting test before even getting started, and I remember sitting at this desk going through both basic skills tests and knowing I was failing them TERRIBLY. I mean, it was bad. I wanted to cry. I knew I could do the job, but I couldn’t do those dumb tests. I ended up taking the half-finished paperwork up to the person and saying, “I don’t think I’m your candidate.” She looked kind of horrified, and I felt even more ashamed that I had when I was trying to do the tests. That was a bad interview. :/ But I had to shake that negative mojo and know it was a fluke. You’ve got tons of skills and there are better and worse fits out there. Yours will come along. I hope it comes fast. Hugs.
Long Story Longer´s last [type] ..Random Happy & Sad
Thank you. It took longer than I like to admit to shake off that interview but I feel like I pretty much have now. I’ve had two good interviews since then and hopefully that will translate into a new job soon.