Coming Home

“Watching my friends get married put me in a contemplative mood, I guess.” Vahid told me as he marveled once again that we ended up together. He does this from time to time, marveling at the fact that through all those crazy odds we wound up together. I don’t mind because it is crazy if you stop to think about it.

As I’m watching Vahid do my math homework I can’t help but marvel too. We have routines and schedules and quirks. I make dinner plans for the week and grocery lists. He cleans the kitchen and folds the laundry. We watch movies eating freshly buttered popcorn before bed. We get tamales every Saturday. We own a couch. (A comfy couch is anyone wants to visit. Just throwing that out there. (unfolds into a bed!))

I look at him (or the back of him as he punches numbers into my calculator) and marvel that through all those odds we ended up here, in this apartment (complete with crack-head neighbors!) in a suburb outside of Portland, merging our two lives together. It amazes me that we had (and still have) awesome chemistry. From the first date inside jokes were created, laughs were had, and our inane quirks were understood. It’s hard to put into words but from the start we were comfortable. It was like coming home.

Now we’ve entered into a new stage. Boxes were unpacked and books were mingled (duplicates were even set aside to give to Goodwill!) and life was ruffled but then the dust settled. We’ve settled into our routines and into our day to day life. We still have arguments and you-are-in-my-space moments of course but it wasn’t an adjustment. I didn’t have to get used to him living here, or get used to all of his things. It was easy. It no longer felt like an empty place I was squatting in, biding my time until something came along. Again, it was like coming home.

As excited as I am about the future we are planning (moving back to the city! Getting a puppy!) I am happy right now. Today was a good day, not because we went to the zoo, or I got him to do my homework for me, but because I was happy and I got to spend another day with someone I love. It was a good day.

Too often we get caught up in the shit, someone got fired, so-and-so are fighting, she thinks her boyfriend sucks, and on and on the cycle goes because it is so easy to complain. I do it all the time (I still complain about my old boss in California when Jenai calls me. Old habits die hard.) and I know it gets annoying.

But for all that I complain about (even on this blog) and for all that I’ve been sad about I am  happy. I am crazy happy. My apartment is trashed, I’m exhausted from a day in the sun, my sunburn is super itchy, and work is getting ridiculous; I’m still happy.

I’m happy because at the end of the night I get to poke Vahid and tell him to roll over when he starts to snore, then I get to do it all again the next day. It’s like coming home.