The end only turns around and becomes the beginning again.

Everyone is already talking about the end of summer. Fall is here, they claim, smitten with the idea of less sun and less heat. School is beginning, the leaves are changing, and the days are growing shorter but I refuse to believe it. The days are still full of heat and sun and as I squint my eyes I refuse to believe that autumn has graced us with her presence.

From Smith Rock

I waited for so long for summer to come and now that it did I feel that our time together wasn’t enough. So I am trying to enjoy what little time we have left together.

In three weeks there won’t be time for adventures and day trips and shenanigans because my days will be filled with books and papers and work. It might still be bright and sunny outside but I will have left summer long behind in exchange for classes and lectures.

I might not be ready for it to end but the end is coming fast like a train and I already hear it rumbling closer on it’s tracks.

The dry leaves are crunching under my feet as I go out and about and I can’t help but wonder how our lives are changing, always changing. We have accomplished so much and so little at the same time and I am always amazed by the sheer volume of experiences we accumulate while at the same time fretting that it was another summer wasted, as if there could ever be such a thing.

From Smith Rock

Isn’t any day I get to spend with my best friend a day full of promise instead of a day frittered away?

Soon our time will be eaten up by schedules and conflicting ones at that and I will wonder when the last time I saw him was even though every morning when I get out of bed he’s softly snoring next to me and the thought always makes me lonely. My world is about to be consumed by early morning and afternoon classes, hours of homework, and work squeezed in the empty crannies and his is going to be the same night shifts he always works and our time together will boil down to every other full Saturday and it’s going to be hard.

Fall is already coming and though it’s not here yet I am already longing for the summer days I got to spend hiking and riding and goofing around.

From Smith Rock

But life never stops living and we never stop changing and moving.

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10 Responses to The end only turns around and becomes the beginning again.

  1. claire says:

    I think the forecast said it was going to be in the 90s in Portland today. Yeehaw!

    It only got up to 61 here today. I’m not ready for summer to be over either. A few leaves have started to change here and there, but I’m not giving in yet.
    claire´s last blog post ..Just Kids

  2. sybil law says:

    I’m dreading the end of summer, too – but looking forward to wearing my boots again!
    sybil law´s last blog post ..Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

  3. sizzle says:

    Summer is always too fleeting here in the PNW. From the looks of it you’ve been soaking it up to the max with many adventures.

  4. Amber says:

    What a beautiful and well-written post, Sarah.

    I totally understand where you’re at as we’re running parallel to one another in life it seems. Everything changes with the start of a new semester and you captured that bittersweet feeling perfectly with your words.

    My school starts earlier than yours, so I’m already immersed in all the reading, papers, etc. but as my summer break came to an end, we were cramming everything we could in as well. I keep telling myself it will be worth it when that degree is in hand! =) Hang in there, friend.

    Also: you two are such a cute couple. It makes my heart happy seeing the two of you glowing, with smiles as wide as the Grand Canyon on both your faces! =)

    ((( Hugs )))
    Amber´s last blog post ..2011: Vacation In (Mostly) Photos

    • Sarah says:

      Aww, thank you! It’s a good thing that Vahid makes me happy. I’m totally immersed in school right now too and it’s tough. In fact it was the subject of my new post, haha.

  5. Kerri Anne says:

    Love love love the title of this post, and the words proceeding it, too. I’ve been fighting my feelings about fall hot on summer’s heels the past few weeks, too, and while I’m not ready to say goodbye to the heat, or give up dreams of jumping into one more lake, one last time (and I’m definitely not ready for ordering my coffee hot vs. iced), I always forget how much I adore fall until I’m standing face-to-face with brilliant trees shimmering their hues of gold and auburn in front of me. I forget so quickly without nature around to remind me how beautiful and hopeful this life is, and just like Portland’s endless trees trading their bright greens for deep burgundies, life never stops living, and we never stop changing and moving, amen.
    Kerri Anne´s last blog post ..The Science Of Sailing

    • Sarah says:

      Thank you. Summer here is so much more mild than the summers that I grew up with and so the summer we have really are more equal to falls back in California. So I forget that you have actual seasons up here.

      As much as I love summer here I do like the fall, when it’s not raining that is. I do like the transitions from each season, even if I don’t love what each season brings. But all we can do is change and move and grow.

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