Reflections on a Random Tuesday

I've heard a lot about the "good ole days of blogging" lately. Most of the people I know from this funny little online activity are from a period when blogging was quite different than it is today. Blame the prevalence of social media (twitter, Facebook, tumblr, and so on) or blame the fact that life changes I sure had a lot more time to write about nothing when I was 17 than now, when I'm 30.

I've been thinking about how my life online is quite different than it was a decade ago. While most of what I share happens on Facebook and Instagram, it's admittedly much less information that I used to blog about. Blogging was, for many, a deeply personal look into another's life. It used to be a way to form these deep connections with like-souled people without ever "meeting" them face-to-face. Through this weird phenomenon of blogging I have some wonderfully dear friends that I have only meet a few times in my life. Without being involved in the friend circles blogging created, I would not have met Vahid, and that worked out pretty well in the end.

While blogging is not what it used to be, I will always be thankful for falling into this crazy time on what was the tail end of what I consider the "hey day" of personal blogging. Now, most of the blogs I loved so much have been shut down by their owners, transitioned into "lifestyle blogs", or, like me, they simply stopped writing, while their sites remained, a quiet tomb of a life shared online. While blogs slowly died or changed, those who avidly read and commented slowly disappeared as well. People who used to take time to read and comment with their own stores of relevance no longer did that, myself included. We still read but ran out of time to comment, then we ran out of time to read everything, then we stopped finding time to read anything altogether. Our attention dwindled to bite-sized snippets on Facebook or Twitter between work, families, and life.

I've kept this blog here even when I stopped writing. Updating this became less important as I moved onto other things in my life: graduating college, getting engaged, married, finding a job that didn't make me hate life. I always meant to come back, to "get back in the rhythm of it," to find the group again. Although that group is gone, migrating onto other parts of life. I am still here, tentatively sticking my toes into the same water, feeling the nostalgic warmth of it all. I miss writing, writing about my life to reflect back on, writing for the sake of writing and the continuous learning that comes with a writing practice, sharing photographs I took the time to shoot & edit. I realized that when I stopped writing, I stopped doing many of the things I found personal joy in. Coming back to any of those things–photography, writing, painting–has me fumbling to find the path that I had worn so well previously.

Am I jumping back in, blogging forever? I don't know. I never intend to stop, I just…do. Eventually I find it harder to sit and write or paint. Then I find it easier to find excuses than time to sit. Then I find it hard to remember the last time I actually sat. So I'm here, for the moment at least. Maybe I'll see you here and we will wave to each other, remembering how good it feels to be back at the same shore, with the same water washing over our toes.

A little bit of Everything

I just kept waiting because I was hoping I would be able to talk about it but now it’s nearly the end of November, Thanksgiving is this week, and I still can’t. Not yet, soon, but not yet. I try to make a point of not writing about work, for a few reasons, but mostly because I don’t want to have another job where all I do is complain about it. I mean this job is pretty nice as far as jobs go. It’s nothing career building but it’s a good office with nice people and someone is always bringing a dog to work. I only have to work four days a week and now I feel insanely spoiled if I were to get any other job where I was working Monday through Friday.

All that to say that I wish I could talk about what’s going on because it’s awesome and kind of a big deal in that I’ve read stories about stuff like this in school but never thought I’d be on the ground level of something like this. Granted because the office and facility staff is small what’s happening is on the small scale but it’s still pretty awesome.

I’ve also been busy writing. At the end of October I decided to try to complete NaNoWriMo this month and both failed wildly and succeeded unexpectedly. I failed as I haven’t been writing every day, really only about two weeks total, and even for that I am only sitting at about 8,000 words. But it was successful because this is the longest I’ve worked on something without just giving up. I’m also really trying to get a first draft down and not get caught up in details I’d like to change but rather just write because anything can be changed later.

I also decided that since we are renewing the lease and not moving that I was going to decorate because I just haven’t. We’ve lived in this apartment for four years now and every year was the year we were going to move and for one reason or another we didn’t. Some years we just never looked for a new place. Recently rents have just skyrocketed and it didn’t make sense to leave an okay place and pay more money just to live in a similar apartment in a different part of the city. I was sick of living in what felt like a transient space and decided that even if it meant I was going to invest in a lot of putty to fix holes when we did decide to move out I was going to make our place look nice and feel inviting. It’s not completely done but it’s done enough that I feel a lot better about having a bunch of people over for Thanksgiving.

I really don’t know what I’m doing with that story I’m writing. But I am determined to keep writing and just see where it goes. It’s so hard to write but writing and decorating has really sparked a lot of my creativity. I am itching to paint again and draw and I found my pens it feels good to be in touch with part of myself again. I was so creative when I was younger and perhaps it’s something about “growing up” that we feel we must put things like that bed and embrace this more “adult” version of ourselves. Maybe I just put it away as I became more and more bogged down with the stress of life and now I can finally find it again and embrace it.

This has been a good month full of things and full of life.

How have you been? Do you have plans for Thanksgiving? What have you been up to this month?